love stories: my beautiful parents

Today, I have a very special guest post for you all. In honor of my parents' 37th (holy crap!) wedding anniversary which they celebrated this past week, my dad (John) is here to tell you his love story with my mom (Deedie). 

I may have mentioned this before, but I really do have the greatest parents ever. When I was younger, however, I didn't know just how lucky I was. I smirked at the fact that my parents eloped instead of having a giant wedding (now, the thought of eloping is possibly one of the most romantic I can think of). I was always confused as to why my mom wore such a simple wedding band instead of one with diamonds (now I wouldn't want a diamond ring if my life depended on it).

Basically, I was a huge brat.

But I find it kind of ironic. Everything that they have: a simple, loving, lasting and adventurous relationship, is exactly what I'm hoping for. Their story inspires me and I hope it inspires you all too. 

In the words of my dad, John:

"I was living with two other guys, one of which, Brian, had been dating a woman named Dorothy since the 8th grade. Dorothy and her roommate, Deedie, had also known one another since their high school years. Brain would frequently ask me to come with him over to Dorothy’s and of course I’d say no. I felt like it was odd for me to just show up. Eventually, though, I gave in. One night we all ended up at Dorothy and Deedie’s apartment and there we were, the four of us. Then a few weeks later, a group of us were going to the zoo and Deedie and Dorothy stopped by my apartment to pick up Brian  and I decided to go also. So that’s how it all began and soon after, we went out on our first few dates! I'll never forget one of our first dates. I loved Greek food and grape leaves and Deedie had never tried them before, so we went to a restaurant called Zorba’s. On another date, I took her to a place called Downunder where I introduced her to frog legs and steak tartar. She was a good sport.

Then back in 1972, I gave Deedie my first gift to her: a book called Together We Walk by Peter S. Seymour. I think I was a bit of a romantic back then, maybe I've changed now! Anyhow, back to the book. In it I wrote,

“No matter what that promise of tomorrow may be, I want you to know that you brought more into my Christmas this year than anyone else has for a long, long, time. I’ll be thinking of you on the 25th. Merry Christmas Deedie. Love, John ‘72”

It's funny... we were 22 years old... yea, a long, long, time ago! Oh to be young! A few years later, I was offered a job in Puerto Rico and me being me, I jumped at the chance! I went to San Juan, to my tiny but beachfront pad and life went on. Deedie visited but was not thrilled with the arrangement. I was (and still am) the “gypsy” type: the one that would scrape up every dime I could, buy a plane ticket to anywhere it would get me to, then with little to no money, hitchhike to town and blend in with the locals and culture. But Deedie was conservative. She planned and saved and was never frivolous nor spontaneous.

Could such personality differences really work and could the relationship really last? Over the course of the time I was in San Juan, if Deedie wasn’t on the island visiting we were talking on the phone all the time. Eventually, I proposed.

Deedie flew down to San Juan and we eloped in St. Thomas! We arranged for a local photographer to follow us and take pictures at the courthouse and hotel. Our twosome wedding reception was dinner for two at the Mafolie Hotel overlooking the harbor as the sun set. Deedie was, at the time, a flight attendant with National Airlines and as luck would have it, National was about to go on strike, which could last for months. So Deedie and I bought plane tickets to Europe and off we went on a month honeymoon full of adventure. Deedie and I first went to Athens (and bought our wedding bands there), then to Mykonos, Greece for four days, then to Paris to meet up with my friend, Chris. As hard as we tried, it took an entire first evening to convince Chris we had actually eloped. No one believed us!

Then came 1988. Again, I was the forever gypsy and adventurer-type and Deedie was very grounded. But 1988 was the turning point that fully made the two of us one when our daughter was born and our life was forever changed. Having a child, and at a time in one’s life when they have seen everything and been everywhere... maybe two or three times, is the most remarkable event you can imagine and that segment of our “new” life began.



Over the years, things were great and things were not so great. Deedie eventually worked for three airlines, Pan Am being one of them, and I worked for about six different companies.We lived in Miami and San Francisco together, then I lived in Washington DC while Deedie lived again in Miami. Then we moved to Munich, I moved to Malaysia (for work) and we all lived in Dallas, then Anna Maria Island, then Lake Tahoe and now San Rafael, California.

At the onset, to me, love was fun. It was romance and togetherness and saying “I love you."

Love over the years, however, becomes trust, compassion, assisting when one or the other is down and when life’s difficulties seem to be taking a toll. It's not saying “I love you” but meaning and knowing that you love each other. Love is when differences no longer matter; they are there, they have been there and they will always be there. But they aren't on the forefront. They're managed and their importance becomes minimized and accepted.

Is any of it easy? No. Is it worth the work and effort? That question, I think, depends on only the two people involved. To many, no it’s not. But to others... absolutely.

I love Deedie Carmona Safran and always will."

My parents | Lake Tahoe | November 2010 

{Congratulations on 37 years, Mom and Dad. I love you so much!}

i'm not here today...

... because I'm over at my dear friend Lena's blog sharing my five commandments of feasting out while she and her adorable husband move to Switzerland! Head over to check out just how neurotic and food obsessed I am! (Teeheehee)

dessert to die for

As I've mentioned before, because I'm so ridiculously excited, I'm a bridesmaid in this girl's wedding here in a month. Unfortunately for myself, I've done absolutely nothing to ensure that I look semi presentable in my dress (though I do feel like I'm doing kind of a bridesmaid duty... because the bride's supposed to look the best by far! You're welcome, Carey).

Anyways, I love to ramble. But recently, I went to D Bar Desserts in Hillcrest with some girlfriends for a major calorie splurge. Oops. D Bar was created by Keegan Gerhard & Lisa Bailey. Does Keegan's name sound familiar? Perhaps it's because he was on the Food Network and has been named one of the nation's top pastry chefs on numerous occasions and has worked alongside some pretty impressive names. Cool huh?

Something I really appreciated about my visit to D Bar was that Keegan was actually there, proving that he isn't some pretentious name that you never see. He was behind the bar getting orders together and visiting with customers to make sure that they were enjoying their food.

cake and shake. yes. a real life menu item. i died.

I also really liked that they strive to be a "destination dessert dining experience" where guests can not only indulge in some seriously incredible desserts but also make memories. They aspire to inspire.Yeah, I can definitely get behind that.

Plus, just a quick glance at the menu will have you drooling at your computer (if you're like me and look up the menus beforehand).

 waffle ice cream sammie

milk and cookies

On another note, I'm going back to barre tonight. My calves have finally regained feeling but I'm still pretty terrified. Wish me luck! And hair photos coming soon! (I'm telling you... I'm absolutely TERRIBLE at the solo photo. Oy.)

PS: I have QUITE the love story coming to you (hopefully) on Friday. But until then... if you're looking for some hope and love to tide you over, click here to read Laura's vows. I'm currently crying in my cubicle. 

inspired by locals: nate from urbanist guide

As you all know, I started my "Inspired by Locals" series to educate myself and you all about starting a business and following your passion. This week, I'd like to introduce Nate, my boss and the founder of Urbanist Guide, a free map of San Diego highlighting the spots around town that represent the best urban San Diego.

A few months ago, I was searching for something more in my life. I didn't know if anyone even read my blog and I felt my love and passion for San Diego and small businesses just itching for more attention. Though I'd been a big fan of Urbanist for a while, I had no idea who was behind the guide. So I did what I do best: I stalked/harassed/bothered Dayna (the editor) and Nate (the founder) until I was granted an intern position which turned into Urban Dish columnist. [Persistence is the key, people!] And I found what I was missing. I needed a chance to work alongside passionate and intelligent people. I needed role models and creativity in my life. I needed to feel like I was making a difference. And that's exactly what I've gained from Urbanist. Though it's not my full time job, the opportunity to work with Nate has been nothing less than a privilege. He's accomplished so much yet remains a humble and passionate individual who is continuously striving to better his product and help small businesses in any way that he can.

I can't think of anything more inspiring.

nate, founder of urbanist guide

You've had quite the career path! Tell me about it. 

I grew up in Chicago and wanted to get to the west coast or the mountains after I graduated from Indiana University. I wasn’t having much luck finding a job where I wanted to live. [Previously], I had visited Colorado on a family vacation and while there I was there, I found a job for a bank management position. I was obsessed with snowboarding and I wanted to be around the mountains so I took the position to live in Breckenridge. I lived there for five years and worked as a bank manager. I snowboarded every minute in between. Then I picked up and moved to California. My main goal was to get into action sports but that didn’t work out. I was managing a credit union and I loved living in San Diego. Around the same time, I discovered a guide similar to Urbanist in Chicago while visiting my family. My sister raved about it so I brought the guide back to San Diego and put it on my coffee table. Whenever friends came over, I showed it [the guide] to them. Everyone was excited and thought San Diego could use something like that. So I partnered with the guy in Chicago and convinced him to grow the brand in San Diego and LA. Then, I quit the bank job, saved 10 grand and scrounged for six months trying to launch the print guide. By then, I had made all of these relationships so I got into commercial real estate. I've been doing that about seven years now and just six months ago, started a third endeavor [a jewelry business with wife, Kristi].  

What hardships did you come across when starting your own business? 

The biggest challenge was going from a corporate job into self employment. The funniest part is the first conversation you have with your parents. Especially if they're used to you having a steady paycheck and you’ve been on that route. But I saved up a little money and just went for it. My parents weren’t talking me out of it or anything but [there was] lots of “are you sure?” There's always uncertainty with any entrepreuneuial endeavor. But it's something I'm thankful for: to promote other people and businesses. To find something that you're passionate about and give it a whirl.

What's something you wish you knew when you were 23?

When I was 23, I still had this perception of the world that it didn’t matter who you knew but it was more about your education and what you learned. By the time I got to be 27, I realized that relationships were everything. You can't go through the business world alone. You have to get out there and meet people; many industries are more who you know than what you know and you have to cherish those relationships.

    

What are your plans to grow Urbanist? 

People ask us all the time if we'll grow into the beach or north but for now, it's a walkable guide [of urban San Diego]. We're talking with four different cities now to grow the brand in the next year or six months. 

What do you hope people get out of Urbanist?

I've heard of people who just moved to San Diego and I'll hear, "that’s been my bible for the last two months! I just moved to town and I check off all of the spots from my fridge!" I love that. I've gotten that sort of response more than once and it makes me feel great. Whether people are new to town or just visiting for the weekend, if they try one spot and love it, they'll keep using the guide while they're in town. That’s what our goal has been and the feedback has been great. It's a more unique San Diego experience. So many people end up walking aimlessly and guessing where to eat and where to go when they visit a new city. Hopefully the guide is an avenue for people to make these places easier to find.

If you had 24 hours to show a visitor around San Diego, where would you take them? 

I have a weekly craving for Pizzeria Bruno. It's completely underrated. But I swear their salami pizza is my favorite thing in San Diego right now. I also love going to Hamilton's. It's by my house and feels like the bars I grew up around. Between the juke box, beers and shuttleboard, I keep going back there. I go to Neighborhood all the time for lunch; their ahi sandwich is incredible. I go to Roast Coach for coffee; they pour a mean cup of joe. And I go to the Casbah to see bands whenever I can. When I have people in town, I go to Bencotto. It’s the best Italian in San Diego.

Why do you think living in San Diego is so special? 

I moved here to surf and I still live here because of the surf. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and I go surfing before work, two or three days a week and then once in a while on the weekend. You can't do that many other places year round. I love so much about the city; I get so excited about new businesses. I think we have a very special arts and culture and dining scene here and I've tried my best to support and promote that. But the natural assets of the beach and the sun and the weather are really what keeps me here. To have an outdoor lifestyle but with all of the benefits of a big city, you can't find that many other places in this world.

If you live in San Diego, you most definitely cannot miss the 2012 Urbanist Release Party at Seven Grand in North Park. Free amazing beer, great food, great tunes and even better people.

i can't walk

photo courtesy of all ionic photos via revelment

I wish I was exaggerating... because I'll admit I tend to do that sometimes. But really and truly, I can't walk. My friend Amanda and I did a barre class this weekend (have you guys ever tried it? holy cow.) and needless to say when I got out of bed this morning, I collapsed the the ground (true story) because my calves just couldn't handle any more activity.

Here's to getting into shape? I don't know about this...

Anyways, I'm obsessed with that graphic above... besides needing physical strength to continue my journey towards getting fit, I feel like I'm needing just a bit more strength in all aspects of my life right now. Do you ever feel like that?

{Happy Monday! I'm already excited for the three day weekend.}