something had to give

As you probably gathered from yesterday's post, there's been something going on. Something I haven't been able to share with you and something that has been slowly eating away at me. A little something called my job. When I tell people what I do, they respond, "oh what a dream! That sounds perfect for you!" but that's just evidence that not everything is as good as it seems. Sometimes jobs that are seemingly ideal and perfect are actually the worst. The worst.

I won't go into too much detail but because of the content of the work, the company, the commute... pretty much everything about it... I could really go on for hours (because I have), I fell into a place I haven't been in a while. I felt depressed, useless, stupid and at times, crazy. I watched some of my favorite things about myself disappear and I cried myself to sleep many a night feeling helpless and trapped. You guys, I've been miserable. It's insane how much a job can do that to you.

But as a person who thrives on passion and uses that passion as fuel for every endeavor, to do a job that I was not only not passionate about but one that I didn't even believe in and for a company I didn't respect, just killed me.

illustration courtesy of designlovefest & katie evans

Something had to give. So I quit my job.

I never dreamed that my career would mean so much to me, but it does. Life's too short to settle and just merely go through the motions; to accept things and just "get over it"; and I wasn't going to do it anymore. That's the thing... you don't have to do it. In my case, I would have rather busted my you-know-what doing odd jobs to pay the rent than to continue sitting in a cubicle doing mindless work for people who didn't care about my growth or opinion... just for a steady paycheck.

Though it's scary and I won't lie to you, my stomach is still in knots, everything works out. It always has and it always will.

If ANY of you ever need to talk about your job or the job hunt, please email me. I'm by no means an expert but I feel that after this experience I can, at the very least, offer some advice. Real advice. Thank you all for sticking with me through this experience and I'm happy to announce... I'm BACK!